I JUST DON'T KNOW

I'm Gay... I'm not Gay... I'm Gay... I'm not Gay.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?

Last night was one... hell... of... a... night.
Honestly- I have made a vow to never, ever drink again.

Honesty people... Britney will be bigger than ever in the next two months... I guarantee it! I miss the girl so fuckin' much. I'm sick of people trash talking her 24/7. She has a fucking life to live, and it isn't up to us to decide how she should live it. I personally cannot wait for her album to drop. It's going to be hot.

The Meaning Of Me

What can I say? Life is tough. Just as soon as you think you know everything there is to know about yourself... you find out something new. I can't even begin to tell you how confusing my life got... for a minute. It was as if the last six months of my life were suddenly a dream. I couldn't believe that I was headed in this direction.

At my lowest point, I simply gave up on my feelings. I gave up on my opportunity to be happier and said, "fuck it- it's easier to be straight." At the end of the day, I couldn't keep away the thought of what could be. I'm gay, and regardless of whether or not that ends up being the easiest choice for me, it is a part of me.

Yes- I feel stupid for doing what I did. Would I change it? Not at all. Going through this self-doubt allowed me to figure out who I am. I found this: I'm a 19 year old college student who likes people. I enjoy music, and film- and being with my friends. I'm innovative, and spontaneous- and relaxed. I'm completely fine with knowing that I know nothing about my future- and and perfectly happy leaving it up to chance.

I hope you guys can learn something from my experience. Don't be impulsive when it comes to questioning who you are. You can never decide what it is you're all about in a single moment- like I thought I could. This life is so fucking confusing- and I have to start all over accepting a situation I had once believed I was completely OK with. Obviously- I have some learning to do.

I'm Back...