It's not a great thing... but I think it makes me unique. For most of my life, the decisions I Have made have been made on impulse. My decision to join a Fraternity... impulse. The choice to drop the fraternity and move into the dorms... impulse.
My whacko choice to come out of the closet... impulse.
Basically... there is a running trend in my life. I make an impulse decision only to find myself going back on the decision later.
It's a shitty cycle... but I'm stuck here- living it.
The whole gay thing is a constant battle with me. Sometimes I wake up feeling comfortable with the idea. Other days it makes me sick to even think about some of the things that I have done. I'm human. I have EMOTIONS. However, the most taxing of them all involves sex. At one point during the day I'm checking out every guy that walks by me. At another- I'm looking at all the beautiful women that inhabit this campus.
It's so confusing! I wish I knew!
uhg... I wish something new would happen in my life.
something fresh.
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